Are You Shaping The Conversation or is Your Opinion and Advice Being Ignored?

You can have the smartest idea in the world.

But if the ‘listening’ that other people have for you is off, your best advice, suggestions, and ideas will be ignored.

People won’t listen.

They’ll interrupt, override, dismiss.

Not because you lack intelligence or value.

But because they’ve already decided your status — often without you knowing it.

The Invisible Signals That Determine How People Listen or Disregard You

Here are 11 subtle cues people read, often unconsciously, that decide whether they’ll respect and listen to you:

1. How You Enter the Space

Do you arrive with calm certainty, or reactive energy?

People read how you enter a space, and draw conclusions about you, and your role — unconsciously answering, are you a leader or follower?

Tip: Bring more awareness to how you enter a room or space. High-status individuals enter deliberately, not rushed. They give the room time to notice them, by how they use their intention and energy — not the other way around.

2. Eye Contact That Leads, Not Follows

Are you leading with your gaze, or scanning for social cues? The way you hold eye contact either projects certainty or deference.

Tip: Where useful, hold eye contact slightly longer than feels natural. It signals groundedness and silent authority.

3. Your Posture and Space

Are you owning your space, or contracting in it? How do you command the space you occupy? How does the way you move change when others are around?

People unconsciously assign power to those who look comfortable being seen.

Tip: To project greater gravitas in work or social contexts — expand. Stand or sit tall, with open, relaxed gestures. The physical space you occupy is a silent marker of status.

4. Your Comfort with Silence

Do you fill pauses quickly, or let them breathe?

Silence is a high-status move — it implies control and patience.

Tip: People with real influence are comfortable with silence. It shows confidence and control. Pause before you speak. Use silence to draw attention, not fill it.

5. The Tone of Your First Words

Do you sound eager to please, or calmly in control?

Fast, high-pitched, or apologetic tones reduce perceived authority.

Tip: Speak slightly slower, from a lower pitch. Calm voices anchor the room.

6. Your Dress and Appearance

Before you say a word, your clothing signals how others should treat you. Are you dressed like someone they should follow, or someone who follows?

People subconsciously assign status based on visual cues. If you dress 2-3 levels above where you are, others will assume you belong there.

Tip: Dress 2-3 levels above where you think you need to be. People assume you belong where you look like you belong.

7. How You Handle Being Interrupted

Do you fade, or reclaim the moment?

Being interrupted is a test — and your reaction reveals your internal status.

Tip: If interrupted, pause. Then continue — or calmly redirect. Non-reactivity signals strength.

8. Who Follows You — and Who You Follow

Are you leading attention, or trailing it? Do others look to you before speaking, or after?

Tip: Speak early and deliberately. People judge your status by how soon — and how comfortably — you take the floor.

9. Signals of Self-Confidence (Even When You’re Not)

Do you act confidently, even if you don’t feel it? What many people don't realise is confidence is often behavioral, not emotional.

Tip: Borrow behaviors from moments where you felt at ease — or mirror those who exude calm authority. Influence starts with how you act, not how you feel.

10. How You Control Emotion Through Language

As you know, it's not just what you say — but how you say it that shapes how people feel.

Your tone, pacing, and word choice directly influence emotional response, often more than content.

Speak quickly, with tension? You transfer anxiety.

Speak slowly, with calm? You project authority and ease.

Tip: Use deliberate pacing, calm energy, and precise language. When you control emotion, you control the frame — and how others respond to you.

11. How Do You Setup The Conversation?

One of the biggest mistakes people make in professional and social situations is not giving enough attention to 'the setup', the contextual cues which inform and drive the framing for any conversation.

If you don’t set the right frames early, others will fill in the gaps, often in ways that weaken your position.

The person who defines the frames and direction of the conversation — even subtly — is the one others look to for leadership.

Tip: Spend more time thinking and framing the setup, especially for any work or personal conversation where the outcome you are looking to create matters.

When you define the conversation, you own the frame. And when you own the frame, you can better guide the outcome.

One Last Thing…

If you've been enjoying these posts over the past week, you'll really enjoy what we cover in our advanced communication training ‘Controlling the Conversation’.

Starting tomorrow, we’re launching a Spring Flash Sale — and for a limited time, you’ll get the chance to join Controlling the Conversation and learn elite conversational control skills that work in any setting.

If you’re ready to learn the invisible skills that shape how others see you, listen to you, and follow your lead — keep an eye on your inbox for your exclusive invitation.

To your success,

Tom